It's Just a Whole Lot.

Life is a lot. A whole lot, but lately it's been more. My mind seems to be mush in a few different areas. I'm a collector of quotes, of words, of lyrics. I can't even begin to count the amount of random post-it notes that can be found all over my home, car, stuffed in books, etc. On the post-its? Words. Some mine, some others. 

This is posted on the mirror in my bathroom. It's been there for nearly a year and 4 months. I love it. 

She knows me so intimately, and trusts me so completely, that she no longer depends on my voice, loving glances or other outward signs to know my approval. She is not dismayed or discouraged by any circumstances that I arrange for her to encounter. She trusts me when common sense, reason and even every subtle instinct of the natural heart would rebel, knowing that I am preparing her for eternity and realizing that the understanding of what I do will come later. 

This is where I want to be...

Stuff & Things...

Last weekend I had the chance to spend time with one of my besties in Spokane. It was the first time I'd been back since moving away over two years ago - a must needed trip. The goal was two fold: 1.) quality time with Liz and Jeff  2.) celebrate with Casey and Cody at their wedding. 

And then stuff happens, so things change. 

I arrived on Thursday night and on Friday afternoon we discovered that Liz and Jeff's home was broken into while we were out and about during the day. BIG BUMMER. Jeff came home to a house, completely ransacked. We spent most of Friday night cleaning up and trying to take inventory of all that was missing. It really made us think about our "stuff". Some things that are replaceable and some things that will never be the same (Liz's wedding ring and home movies). 

And in true Melis and Liz style there was humor, humor that saves us from insanity in so many situations. As we worked our way through the house we came to the guest room where I was staying. Being the terrible packer that I am I brought my HUGE rolling duffle bag and had thrown in odds and ends, no organization whatsoever. Stuff was everywhere, clothes, shoes, papers, random electronic charges, what have you (luckily, I'd taken my computer with me that day). We soon discovered that my car was still parked out front and my keys on the dresser had not been touched - amazing! But my bag was gone. We figure that they had dumped some of my stuff out and taken it to pack other things from around the house. But, they did manage to get some of my clothes, all my jewelry, the top to my swimsuit and ALL MY UNDERWEAR. No joke. How creepy/hilarious is that!?! So funny.

Not so funny was all that Liz and Jeff have to deal with now. When I got back to Mac Jeff asked me to make a list of my stuff that was missing along with prices. I started strong. There were a few things that I definitely knew I was missing. But as I went on with the report it got harder. Not only did I discover that I couldn't remember all that I had with me but also the prices on my list were starting to add up...and it began to make me sick. 

I've been on somewhat of a rampage lately about stuff and this was just another chapter in my disillusion with stuff, things and money. Looking at my list I found myself completely frustrated that I couldn't remember all that I had. Not because I was sad about the stuff but more sad that I had so much that was forgettable. That the sheer volume of stuff was too much for my mind to keep track of. I suddenly felt sickly excessive. And then moving on and looking at the prices of the things I did remember. Of course I remembered the stuff I spent the most on and really, was it all necessary, the brand names, the multiple versions? And then the reality that I have a home full of other things ready to take the place of the things I'd lost. Nothing that was stolen was something that I didn't still have at home in one shape or another - MORE EXCESS! 

So stuff and things. Things and stuff. Sure my mind went to all the peeps in the world who have nothing. Those who have such a small portion of what I, as a single girl, have in excess. I understand that I am fully blessed, so much more than I ever deserve, I don't understand being in need and very rarely do I even understand want. 

My mind went to the idea of living freely. Free in a way that allows for mobility, to following the Lord's will in a quick and calculated way. Living free from the idea of "keeping up with the Jones'" that provides opportunities for us to bless those who are in need. Less is more in a new way. So it becomes not about feeling guilty about what we have but rather living in a way that is not focused on things. It's not just cleaning out a closet (although that's an amazing place to start). It's about cleaning up my heart in relation to stuff and things. It's about checking my motives before the junk piles up, and using what I have for more than just me. And I think it involves creativity. It's a challenge to me. How can I use what I have been given to return blessing? Most importantly it's being prayerful about keeping the topic on the forefront of my mind and heart. Not to let the days, and months pass and fall back into busy and life and society and want. It's praying for convictions that stick. 

Cheers!